Thinking about heading to DC to celebrate the historic swearing in of Obama?  Congress, out of fear that things will get chaotic when millions descend on the capital, has issued an advisory full of foreboding.  It’s going to be awful, miserable, hellish. It could kill you with “crush level crowds” and you will hate yourself for stepping anywhere near the city limits.

Just a few key parts of the “Stay the Fuck Out of The Capital” release include:

- “Please think carefully about whether you can stand outside in cold weather in a large crowd for up to six hours and whether you are ready for long delays getting home afterwards.”

-”It won’t be possible to cross the Pennsylvania Avenue parade route, except at designated points and Metro will be extremely crowded….D.C.’s subway system will be running “rush-hour” service all day, but is expecting “crush-level” crowds.”

-”Be prepared to wait for space on a train for long periods of time, during which you will have to stand in close proximity to several thousand people.”

-”There will be no vehicular access or parking in the areas around the Capitol on January 20, 2009. This includes vehicles with special disability license plates or tags.” 

-And if none of that dissuaded you there is always this:

You are not allowed to bring “Firearms and ammunition (either real or simulated)***, Explosives of any kind (including fireworks), Knives, blades, or sharp objects (of any length), Mace and/or pepper spray, Sticks or poles, Pockets or hand tools***, such as “Leatherman”, Packages, Backpacks, Large bags, Duffel bags, Suitcases, Thermoses, Coolers, Strollers, Laser pointers, Signs, Posters, Animals (other than service animals), Alcoholic beverages.”

**I was going to go because I can live a few days without my trusty power tools, but since I can’t bring fake bullets, which I carry to all events, I am going to pass. 

For those who are still going to chance what will surely be apocalyptic, click here for the full advisory.

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