-I finally watched the Susan Boyle video from Britain’s Idol show. Since she isn’t that attractive I figured the purpose was to make fun of her. It’s not. I cried. You will too.

-Ross and Rachel in real life? Jennifer Anniston wants David Shwimmer’s sperm for artificial insemination since she is sad lonely, single and now must turn to this sort of thing to generate any press. “She says David is perfect father material because he’s the whole package - handsome, tall, smart and with a full head of hair!”

-Here are the candidates for Miss USA wearing bikinis designed by Jessica Simpson.

-Because Octo-Mom is regarded as the Martha Stewart of motherhood, she is now trying to copyright her nickname to slap it on products like “disposable diapers, dresses, pants, shirts and textile diapers.”

-Everyone who has ever seen or heard about Lindsay Lohan thinks she should go to rehab. Amy Winehouse couldn’t be reached, but she’d probably agree.

-Speaking of Amy, she is in Saint Lucia rolling around in mud to detox.

-Fresh on the broken heels of news of his divorce, Mel Gibson has fled to some islandwith a young, mystery blonde, to avoid the press and fuel it with what an asshole he is.

-Keshia Knight Pulliam, otherwise known as Rudy from the Cosby Show, is getting a reality show.  ”It will explore what it’s like being young, rich, single and co-habitating.”  Set to air on Oxygen it will likely be classy (as far as reality TV goes)and boring.