OMG, this is fantastic.*  Sarah Palin’s Memoir ‘I Wear Rouge: An Idiot’s Guide To Taking Down A Campaign and Looking Fantastic!” (written by Lynn Vincent) doesn’t hit shelves till next Tuesday, but the AP has already got a copy and released some excerpts because they are The Media and must do Evil Things like report on news.

The excerpts and seeming general tone of the book are pretty much what you would expect: The liberal media hates her because she loves Jesus and values, John McCain hates her because he’s bitter and old and forgot to take his grandpa pills, and she is totally folksy and all about her family except the baby daddy of her daughter’s bastard child, penis shower Levi Johnston, who is not mentioned once.

So blah blah, heard it before, put it on repeat, blah, moose is good for you. But this is new and entertaining: Palin gave Katie Couric an interview because she was told the lady news anchor had low self esteem. According to the AP, “The idea to meet with Couric came from McCain campaign aide Nicolle Wallace, who told Palin that Couric — also a working mother — liked and admired her. It would be a favor to Couric, too, whom Palin notes had the lowest ratings of the network anchors.”

Cat. Fight. Continues.

Palin also scratches out at McCain. Again. But this time in a weird, this is totally false, can not be true kind of way, by claiming that he made her pay $50,000 for vetting fees. This is not anywhere near correct because 1) Palin was clearly not vetted, and if she was, it was dollar menu style, and 2) This just doesn’t ever happen ever. This is a green sky, a neon orange cow, a man who is smart, intelligent, dirty rich, funny, a rockstar in bed and amazingly nice.  In short: Didn’t/doesn’t happen.

Regardless of the fact that this book is totally going to be fiction and overtly revisionist, I for one, can’t wait to read it.

*By fantastic, I mean hilarious.