(Image Via Jezebel)

Thank god for Glamour and their sexy medical sex advice. According to this handy graph perfect for alarmists, germaphobes, and dudes who just want to hit it from behind but can’t get their girlfriend to say yes, missionary sex is way risky and just like licking a subway pole or hanging out with a bunch of kids in Mexico. Print this out and put it on your fridge or hand it to your boyfriend when he asks why your pulling a Pretty Woman rule and not kissing him.

Let’s just hope I don’t hurt my neck turning around during the reverse cowgirl to blow a kiss at my lover.  Better yet, I’ll just wear a face mask and encase myself in Saran wrap.  Or, there is always the full body condom.

On a side note: Props to Glamour for promoting the terrorist fist bump/jab. I’m expecting a drop in subscription from their Republican readers.