The Hills, The City, Tila Tequila, The Bachelor…almost all past examples of reality TV have shown that the genre is in fact, not in any sense of the term, a pure representation of reality. And yet, despite what common sense, logic, and history have told me-I really bought the “authenticity” of Jersey Shore.
These kids just didn’t seem [...]

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MTV Shows
-Sacha Baron Cohen’s Bruno “fell” with his jockstrap in Eminiem’s face. While the whole show is staged, it actually looked like the rapper didn’t know it was going to happen and was pissed, making it a highlight of MTV Movie Awards History. Expect to see it a gajillion times.
-And the media-fan system has finally [...]

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-Above is some vampire porn for you Twilight fans. Enjoy.
-Britain’s Got Talent wunderkind Susan Boyle freaked out on people stalking her at a hotel shouting, How f***ing dare you! You can’t f***ing talk to me like that.”  When the cops asked if there was a problem, she responded, “Of course there’s a f***ing problem,” before [...]

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-Chris Brown is not a monster. Oh, and buy his new album. (DON’T!)
-”I don’t feel like I look like the other perfect little pop singers. I think I’m changing what people think is sexy… The truth is, the psychotic woman that I truly am comes out when I’m not working. When I’m not working, I [...]

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-At 41, Pam Anderson still looks hot in a bikini.
-Kevin Bacon had his Blackberrystolen on the subway. This is crazy news because: 1) Due to six degrees of separation, everyone in the world must now change their phone number and 2)  Kevin Bacon takes mass transportation.
-Jesus Luz said he and Madonna are just friends, even though [...]

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-Tom Cruise took his son to a Laker’s game. Meanwhile, wife Katie is getting ready for her performance at this Sunday’s 20th anniversary National Memorial Day Concert broadcast from the West Lawn of the U.S. Capitol on PBS.
-Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn are back together. Again.
-Here are pictures of Patrick Swayze. He is either [...]

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-Paris Hilton has been turned into a zombie and is about to eat this poor man.
-All it takes to get Brad in your movie is to get him high and wasted. On how he wound up in Inglorious Basterds: “All I know is we talked about backstory and we talked about movies into the wee [...]

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-Celebrity weekly covers!
-Anna Wintour owns Oprah’s big ass. In 1998 she made the talk show diva shed some pounds before she would put her on the cover of Vogue.
-Chace Crawford will show everyone that dancing isn’t Satan’s way of saying “hello,” as Ren McCormack in the remake of Footloose.
-Seventeen year old gymnast Shawn Johnson was named winner [...]

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-Lay the fuck off of Miley Cyrus’ body. She looks hot and she knows it. The teen star tweeted: “Talk all you want. I have my flaws. I’m a normal girl, there’s things about my body I would change but stop with calling me f*t… People that are so okay with being so hateful disgust [...]

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-Alec Baldwin gives David Letterman some sexy toys for his wedding.
-Christopher Walken tells Esquire: “Most of the jobs I get are basically very unwholesome people. There’s always something wrong with the guy, and sometimes something deeply wrong. I’m tired of that.”
-Madonna and boy toy Jesus are having a Kabbalah wedding ceremony. It won’t be [...]

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-Rihanna + Lady Gaga = Silly Boy = Awesome.
-Wanna see Jessica Biel strip while pouring hot wax on herself in Powder Blue? Of course you do, perverts. Click here to watch.
-George Clooney is just like a frat boy! He got so hammered at a nightclub, the actor vomited all over the VIP area. He denies [...]

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-More topless photosof biblical church marm Carrie Prajean have emerged.
-The $40,000 a month Kevin Federline gets from Britney for marrying her and ruining her life just isn’t enough to keep up “his booze tabs and bodyguards’ salaries.”
-Canada refused to let American icon Lindsay Lohan into their country because of her DUI conviction.
-Brooke Shields thinks that [...]

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-It was inevitable-thank god. Above is the Dick in the Box sequel, Mother Lover.
-Madonna and Jesus are gonna make it honest with a commitment ceremony.
-Susan Boyle is gonna be on Oprah!  Heart breaker of a line: “I am not lonely. Everyone has been so nice. I’ve got millions of new friends now.”
-Nude photos have been [...]

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Between Two Ferns With Zach Galifianakis from Between Two Ferns
- Zach Galifianakis would like Natalie Portman to know his penis is bigger than her dogs.
-Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt are rumored (yet again) to have had a reunion. He picked her up on the set of her NYC film the Baster and they went for [...]

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-A crazed Britney fan hopped on stage in Connecticut and busted a move. He was swiftly kicked off and homegirl did not miss a beat. Most impressed I’ve ever been with her.
-My favorite celeb couple, Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard, got hitched. Congrats to them!
-Madge is back in court today to fight for her Malawian accessory Mercy [...]

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-This dog is not a celebrity, but is clearly more talented than Jennifer Aniston. Someone get him/her a show.
-Britney Spear’s is requiring that hotels she stays at to install a stripper pole in her room. It’s because it’s her favorite new workout and not because she has a sexual fetish. Uh-huh.
-Due to his hand injury from a car [...]

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-Midweek celebrity tabloid madness!!! Have you hit the newsstand yet?
-Susan Boyle is O-V-E-R. The never been kissed, except has been kissed, singing sensation is shopping around a book. No one is biting. Her story of triumph over the odds of people’s superficiality is just a one-trick pony. Ho-hum.
-Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker are having [...]

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-Celeb spotting: I saw Julia Roberts at Danal (best breakfast joint in NYC) on Saturday having brunch with two women and showing the owner pictures of her kids on her phone. I thought my father was going to have a heart attack she’s so beautiful in person. Amazing skin.
-The Half-Blood Prince is richer than real London royals, [...]

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-The Susan Boyle makeover has begun.
-Miley Cyrus, like most women, is dating one guy while being in love with another.  One in this case is model Justin Gaston, while another is Nick Jonas.
-No tab wants the precious Heidi and Spencer wedding photos. “They’d rather be on page 50 of Us, People, In Touch or Life [...]

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-Above is a news blooper where Tony Danza appears on a local news program where he doesn’t know his mic is on. This is his best work ever!
-Miss California’s gay bigotry has landed her more than massive press coverage. She’ll be appearing at the Gospel Music Awards. Jesus!
-Gwyneth Paltrow wants Mario Batali to lose weight [...]

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