(Image Via Jezebel)
Thank god for Glamour and their sexy medical sex advice. According to this handy graph perfect for alarmists, germaphobes, and dudes who just want to hit it from behind but can’t get their girlfriend to say yes, missionary sex is way risky and just like licking a subway pole or hanging out with a bunch [...]

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PETA members please avoid. Everyone else, enjoy.

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This includes sex, profanity, an animal, and complete nonsense. It could be the best on-air goof of all time.
Ernie Anastos: “It takes a tough man to make a tender forecast, Nick.”
Weatherman Nick Gregory: “I guess that’s me!”
Ernie Anastos: “Keep fucking that chicken, HAHAHA!”

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Introducing the PediSedate, the newest, coolest, and most fun way to drug your kid.  Not only is it purple and sweet looking, but it administers gas as the kid plays computer games on handheld consoles.
For some reason I find this picture hilarious. Use it if your a medical professional or a pedophile (kidding).

[...]

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I myself have not purchased one yet, but was incredibly happy with the powers of my two wolf moon shirt and even more pleased with my three moon one wolf tee.
Sold on Amazon, this shirt has become the latest and perhaps most hilarious Internet meme of recent times. The Washington Post has an article today on [...]

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(Via Buzzfeed)
….so this is where all my dildos keep disappearing to.

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It’s been pretty popular for a while, so many of you may have heard of Fail Blog. I had head, but hadn;t looked until this morning and I am already obsessed. The above picture will keep me happy all weekend. I highly suggest you check it out.

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From McSweeny’s:
E-mail Addresses It Would Be Really Annoying to Give Out Over the Phone, by Michael Ward:
MikeUnderscore2004@yahoo.com
MikeAtYahooDotCom@hotmail.com
Mike_WardAllOneWord@yahoo.com

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Ok. I thought this was fake when I first saw it on VideoGum because it’s got every over-used movie meme possible. In the course of this trailer of C Me Dance, whose amazing tagline is “A dance that shines through the darkness,” there is the stuggle to be the best at one’s chosen craft, chronic illness, fear, [...]

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Charles Grassley should quit his position as Sentor of Iowa and partner with Bob Saget to go on tour as a stand-up comic.
Earlier this month he commented on AIG sucking the taxpayers tits, and then last week he month he said the company’s executives should “follow the Japanese model” and “resign, or go commit suicide.”
His latest [...]

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(ViaBuzzFeed)
They forgot:  Cry for an hour, stare at checking account with despairing expression on your face, try to create a meal out of generic brand items from the dollar store, masturbate, stalk people on facebook that inexplicably still have jobs, feel jealous of everyone who still has a job, cry some more, and finally, nap.

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(Via Undercover)
Warning: NSFW if you work at a shoe manufacturer or turtle rape advocacy group.
It’s an evil epidemic sweeping living rooms across the nation. You leave your Nike’s near Spike’s cage and think all will be fine when all of a sudden you return home to find your left sneaker violated. Be warned.
Thanks to A [...]

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(Via Buzzfeed)
Thank god this has been answered. May we all sleep more soundly tonight.

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(Via Buzzfeed)
UPDATE: North Carolina did not find McCain’s confusion over beaver’s funny. State and federal wildlife officials claim to have saved nearly $5 million last year in potential flood damage to farms, timber lands, roadways and other infrastructure through its Beaver Management Assistance Program, reports McClatchy.
So to anwer McCain’s question: You manage the critters by blowing [...]

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Just in case you ever crap out a full chess set or 75 plastic alphabet letters.

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(Image Via SlightlyWarped)
Krispy Kreme Wheat Donuts are so good, you’ll suck dick.
Thanks Google images and a lazy photo department! Click here for a larger pic.

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 (Via manticoresmoustache.blogspot.com)
I have no idea why this is so funny or why it’s turning me on.

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You gotta love watching the cute way these old government types take on the newfangled tech teminology of the youngs. This is the second time Biden got confused over the web site for Recovery.gov, previously refering to it as Recovery.com. It’s a small blip, but without McCain around to say silly things about the Internet, we’ll [...]

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(Via Urlesque)
Label this under “Really?”

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And I am suddenly so much less hungry for Southern comfort food.

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